A Soldier's Honor Page 14

  Her gaze dropped, and just like that, he singlehandedly deflated the happy mood Alex had established. “Sorry.” He forced himself to stay put when he wanted to stalk off until he had better control of his mouth. Because he was watching her, he saw the internal debate skate over her face rather than any spark of desire.

  Deciding something, she swiftly came around the table, taking the chair next to his. “I owe you an apology.”

  “You don’t.” The soft floral scent of her shampoo teased his nose and the warm spices from cooking clung to her skin. Though dinner was over, she presented a new kind of feast and he felt like a man starving. He rubbed his forehead, hiding his reaction and raw hunger from her perceptive gaze.

  “Matt.” She rested her fingertips on his forearm and the touch sizzled like heat lightning under his skin. “Please look at me. Believe me, I trust you with Caleb. I do. What I said this morning was out of line, spoken out of fear.” He watched her struggle to maintain her composure. What you did for him today and afterward set his world to rights again. Thank you.”

  He wanted to close his eyes against the compassion and gratitude in her eyes, but if he did, he’d only see the laser sights targeting them again. “Bethany, when I saw—”

  She leaned closer. “Shh. Stop torturing yourself. You were...” Her hand fluttered as she searched for the right word. “Amazing. Heroic. Wonderful.” Her smile turned shy. “I can’t settle on just one word. You saved him.”

  Though her compliments flattered him, there was no escaping the truth. “He was out there because of me.” All that fear, those minutes ticking as slowly as hours, were his fault. “I told you I wouldn’t put him in danger and then there we were.” Victims of laser sight target practice apparently, though he wasn’t complaining about the lack of injuries.

  “That wasn’t you.” She stroked his arm, rubbed circles over his shoulder. “That was the person who put this game into motion.”

  “Pretty high stakes,” Matt murmured as Alex and Caleb returned with another plate of cookies.

  Without a word, she shed the intensity, the intimacy of their conversation and beamed at them. That was a new skill, one she’d likely had to master as a single parent. What had she said? Just because Caleb could handle something didn’t mean he should have to.

  Once when they’d been out for pizza with the whole group, he’d managed to get her alone for a few minutes. Her hair had been shorter then, thick and silky and definitely mussed from his hands when they’d returned to the table. Their friends had teased them until she’d blushed, completely flustered by the unwanted attention.

  How had he fallen for the myth that his feelings for her weren’t strong enough, real enough to last?

  He studied her surreptitiously while she was distracted with the byplay between Alex and Caleb. Though she’d always been pretty, there was a depth and richness to her features now, as if every life experience only intensified her innate beauty.

  The laugh lines bracketing her warm brown eyes and her luscious mouth let him know there had been plenty of joys through the years they’d been apart. He’d followed her career, careful not to get too close, and he knew she was respected and valued in her department. She’d carved out a good life despite the unexpected detour. More than that, she’d created the stability to allow both her and their son to thrive. He wanted in on that.

  He couldn’t rewind the clock or make up for lost time, but he could definitely make a positive difference from this point forward. Matt didn’t want to miss any more precious time with Caleb or Bethany. All too soon, Caleb would be headed to college and then out on his own.

  He’d told Matt he loved history and science. He was a talented athlete and Matt expected colleges to start scouting him soon. Had Caleb given any thought to West Point or a Military career? Matt’s chest ached that he didn’t know the answer.

  Yet.

  It didn’t matter anymore if being shut out of his son’s life was wisdom or folly. Now was the time to carefully consider how they would move forward. This time around, all three of them would be in on the decision.

  Although he’d never told Bethany, he’d started a college fund in addition to the monthly child support. Other than his cars and the occasional vacation, there wasn’t much else tying up his money. He’d bought and sold houses at various duty stations, but he’d never really established what felt like a home. For the most part, he lived modestly and invested his income for the future.

  While he expected Caleb to get scholarships, especially after meeting him, Matt wanted his son to have options. By the time he was Caleb’s age, Matt had decided on West Point, determined to walk in his father’s shoes. His parents fostered his interest, though they made it clear his choice mattered more than their opinion. His dad had insisted that the challenges of being a cadet were magnified if Matt wasn’t fully invested.

  He could see Bethany had instilled that same sense of responsibility and independence in Caleb. Yes, he was still a kid, but the man he would become was peeking through already.

  Maybe the two of them didn’t need him interfering and upsetting the status quo. If he barged in, forcing his role as a father simply for the sake of his own needs, he’d only inject more strife and stress than they were presently dealing with.

  “Hey, you in there?” Alex snapped his fingers in front of Matt’s face. “I’m heading out.”

  Matt scrambled to recover from his daydreams, startled to see Alex buttoning his uniform coat. “I’ll walk down with you.” He rolled down his sleeves and buttoned his shirt cuffs, grabbed his own coat.

  “You didn’t have to come along,” Alex said as they walked down the hall.

  “Do you think they’re better off without me?” Matt blurted when they were alone in the elevator car.

  Alex gaped at him. “You are not thinking right,” he said. At the lobby, he stepped out, holding out his arm to stop Matt when he tried to follow. “Go upstairs. Enjoy what being a family feels like and forget the rest of this mess. We’ve got your back.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  “I do not want to hear from you until tomorrow unless your condo is invaded. Call or text me at your peril.”

  Matt held up his hands in surrender. “Duly noted.”

  “You told me your target is a family.” Alex reached in and punched the button for Matt’s floor. “No detours, Major Riley.”

  Matt was almost laughing when he got back to the condo. Almost.

  Chapter 8

  After Alex left, the evening had taken a decidedly domestic turn. Matt had walked back in, excused himself to his bedroom, and returned in jeans and another long-sleeved T-shirt. This one was a camouflage pattern with a Rangers logo on it, and the cuffs had started to fray. Bethany was sure this wasn’t the type of shirt just anyone could pick up in an on-base gift shop.

  He’d challenged Caleb to more video game racing and although she wanted to remind them Caleb was grounded, she let it go. Forcing him to sulk wouldn’t solve anything and she’d kept the two of them apart long enough. She sat where she could keep an eye on the game and read a novel on her phone while the two of them flung trash talk back and forth.

  It was past ten when she finally called an end to the fun and sent Caleb to bed. He argued, begging for more time, and she was forced to remind him he was supposedly grounded. Matt backed her up, which she appreciated, but the verbal scuffle only proved her point that Caleb was still a kid and it had been a long, trying day.

  So why did she have this urge beating inside her to make it longer still? She wanted—needed—some pure, uninterrupted adult time with Matt. There were more than a few logistics to iron out, yet none of those topics ranked at the top of her agenda.

  Every time his gaze had stroked over her throughout the evening, it put a kick in her pulse. Probably had a heart murmur by now, she thought, rubbing her fist to her chest while he flipped
through the selections for his game system.

  Sharing a meal and easy conversation had felt so natural and right. It had taken her back to those early days of their relationship and the way he made her feel as if she was the only person who mattered. Watching Caleb light up over the outrageous stories Alex shared about Matt had her feeling more content than she’d been in a long time.

  Well, that was selling herself short. She’d been quite happy, thriving really, as a single mother with a bright, well-adjusted son. Year after year, she’d proven to herself that she didn’t need Matt to ride in and rescue her.

  Great. Three cheers for Bethany. None of her independent accomplishments changed how much she missed his friendship or the delicious thrill of having him within view. She wanted him with a white-hot yearning, which was as intense now as it had been the first time around.

  Older, wiser and established, she expected that if they hooked up now, the experience would be infinitely more satisfying. Physically and emotionally. Now they could close a door and not worry about who might walk in on them. How much fun could they create in a bed designed for more than one person? Her skin warmed at the thought. As adults, they were mature enough to share a bed and not feel any unjustified pressure to share a life.

  Sex. That’s what she wanted from him. All she needed was a healthy outlet, a way to release the pent-up tension humming through her system. She poured herself a glass of wine and turned out the kitchen lights, leaving a lamp on low near the couch. Debating how to start a conversation that she wanted to end with what amounted to a one-night stand, she sipped her wine and watched him for any signal.

  Her attention divided, she gave a start when her cell phone rang. Her dad’s cell number filled the display. She groaned. If anything could douse her anticipatory mood, it was a call from her dad. She tapped the green icon and answered with a bright hello.

  “Are you and Caleb all right?” he asked. “I came by to check on you and a police officer is at the curb. He got in my way when I tried to knock.”

  “Sorry about that.” She hadn’t thought the protective detail would stay once they left.

  She’d called him Wednesday morning to make sure the national news hadn’t sent her parents into a tizzy too, but they’d apparently missed the initial reports. Now, more than twenty-four hours after the fact, she had yet to muster the courage to tell him they’d come to Washington with Matt.

  “We’re fine, Dad. Just got a jump on Caleb’s fall break.” She glanced at the time on her phone. “You’re out late.”

  “We were out of milk,” he said with a raspy chuckle.

  Her father drank a glass of milk with breakfast every day. The habit, the steadiness of it, had her smiling.

  Matt looked up, and when his gaze caught hers, he smiled back. Her heart did a slow spin in her chest and tripped over itself again.

  “So, this cop out here?” Her dad asked. “How long is he staying?”

  Her mind muddled with visions of Matt, it took her a moment to follow the conversation. “I don’t know. It’s just a precaution, Dad.”

  Hearing that, Matt’s lips tipped up at one corner before he turned for his bedroom. She hoped he planned to come back out. With all this need and desire in her veins, she would likely knock on his door if he didn’t.

  “After the incident last night, they want to be sure no one else tries to tear up the block again. Caleb and I are in Washington through his fall break.”

  A brief, tense silence followed. “Your mother and I thought you might spend some time with us next week.”

  “We can do that. I’ll let you know as soon as we’re back in town. Remember, Caleb has a big tournament in a couple of weeks. He’d love for you both to come out.”

  “Right, right. We’re looking forward to that.”

  “Us too,” she replied.

  Matt’s bedroom door opened and he emerged. She watched him pass through the kitchen, picking up the bottle of wine and another glass. Bringing both with him, he sat on the opposite end of the couch. While she chatted with her dad, he poured wine into the glass and sat back. The way his hands moved, the way he filled and possessed each simple gesture made her belly quiver. Maybe she couldn’t handle a one-night stand after all.

  “He’s having a great season,” she said, rambling now. Her father had superior recall of his grandson’s stats, all the way back to his first season as a four-year-old.

  “Washington the city or the state?” her dad asked abruptly.

  “City,” she replied cautiously. Was he using a video app she didn’t know about?

  “Bethany. You’re with Riley?”

  “After the, ah, incident, we had to come down here to meet with investigators,” she explained in a rush.

  “If I ever get within arm’s reach of that man.” She curled away from Matt to contain her father’s booming voice as he worked up to the familiar rant. “You’ll hug him, I’m sure. Might even say thanks since he saved Caleb’s life.” Twice, in two days, but she wasn’t going to worry him with all of the details.

  “I won’t,” he barked. “Not after he ruined yours.”

  That was a blow to her pride. No, she hadn’t gone on to a Military career as she’d once planned. She hadn’t walked down the aisle in a romantic, white wedding to live happily-ever-after like her parents either. Life came in a wide variety of flavors and circumstances.

  “Thanks for calling, Dad. I’ll keep you posted on the situation.”

  “Now, honey. I didn’t mean—”

  “I know what you meant.” She tilted her wine glass, playing with the reflected light in the deep red surface. Feeling Matt watching her made the typically annoying topic of conversation nearly unbearable. “It’s okay. We’re okay.”

  “He hurt you. A father doesn’t forget those things easily.”

  “No, probably not.” She peeked at Matt. How many hurts was he remembering?

  She’d made her choices, both in the moment and after the fact, to protect herself and her baby. If she labeled those choices as hurts or mistakes, it devalued the gift of Caleb. Whatever sacrifice of dreams or personal happiness she’d made for the benefit of their son had been worth it. And she couldn’t remind her father of any of that while Matt lounged a few feet away.

  She glanced toward the balcony doors and thought better of it. That would only make her conversation easier for Caleb to overhear. “Dad, we’re okay.” She sounded like a broken record. “I’ll call you when we’re back in town.”

  “You could have come here,” her father said, stubbornly.

  Had he missed her mention of investigators? “Dad, I can’t get into all of it right now. I don’t even know all of it, really.” That was a tough pill to swallow. “But we’re safe and protected and we’ll be home as soon as possible.”

  “We love you, honey.”

  “Love you too, Dad. Give Mom a hug from us.”

  Ending the call, she set aside her cell phone, flipping it over so she couldn’t see the display.

  “Trouble?” Matt asked.

  She sat forward and twirled the wine glass slowly between her palms, still not ready to look at him. “Dad went by the house and a policeman in a patrol car wouldn’t let him near the door. He was concerned.”

  “Naturally.”

  “I assumed the police car would leave when we did.” She sat back again and took a hearty gulp, let it gently warm a path down her throat. “Did you request that detail stay on?”

  “Not specifically, though it’s a logical step,” he replied carefully. “The investigation is ongoing.”

  True. “Even though the house is empty?” What more did he think would happen? Caleb had handed over the only hard evidence on the messages he’d received. Her neighbors, as a matter of course, would keep an eye on things. She considered her conscientious and thoughtful neighbors one of the biggest ass
ets of living in her community.

  “Caleb was the first to be contacted in this mess. You were the first to be threatened.”

  She shrugged. In her mind, the order of events was irrelevant. Maybe her intuition was blurred by attraction and affection, past and present, but she was certain Matt was the target. Finally, she dared to peek at him.

  His gaze intent, mouth soft, one hand stretched along the back of the couch, he posed an appealing temptation. Without saying a single word, he urged her closer, inviting her to touch and explore. Asking if she’d let him touch her, too.

  Wanting the feel of him under her hands, she would. They were no longer subject to the school’s expectations and rules. They understood the limits were different than they had been fifteen years ago.

  Tonight, mutual pleasure and comfort was the end goal, maybe even closure of sorts. Impatient with her hesitation, she summed it up in her mind as a temporary satisfaction of desire between consenting adults. She and Matt weren’t destined to be a normal family, not even within the Military definition of the word. Family was quickly sinking to the last thing on her mind.

  “Should we put a bell on the guest room door?” Matt’s eyes darkened as they continued to watch each other.

  He hadn’t moved a muscle, yet she felt caught, as if he was pulling her closer. “Do you have a bell?”

  “It’s doubtful.” One dark eyebrow dipped down. “I should have sent him for a sleepover with Uncle Alex.” There was no respect for the honorary title in his voice.

  She chuckled. “He did a good job roasting you with some of those stories at dinner.”

  “Do you remember our first kiss?” His gaze dropped to her mouth.

  Her lips tingled under his gaze. “I was thinking of it earlier today, in fact.”

  The sensual heat in his eyes blazed. An answering heat slid through her veins. “While you baked cookies?” he asked.

  His hand curled into the leather upholstery, the only clue that her answer was important to him. Oh, how she wished he’d make the first move here and yet she knew why he didn’t. She’d been the one to walk away, to refuse any extraneous discussion, cutting him out of her life cold turkey. It was the only way she could get over him without breaking down in a swamp of “what ifs” and “maybe somedays.”